December 2011
12 posts
I am not bothered by rejection. I am not bothered by indecision. I am not bothered by anger. I am not bothered by adequacy. But I am bothered by dishonesty.
This whole time I was under the impression that it was something I had done, it was the choice I made, it was the promise I made to myself. But I realized that sometimes you just aren’t good enough for someone.
I’m not pretty enough. I’m not smart enough. I’m not sane enough. I’m not funny enough. I’m not nice enough. I’m not even close to being enough.
I hang by a thread on my best days.
Forced to go downstairs. Forced to smile. Forced to laugh. Forced to converse. Forced to mask the sadness.
The adequacy paradox.
When I am enough for someone else, they are not enough for me. And when I realize that they are enough for me, I am no longer enough for them.
What am I doing?
I made a decision when I had stability of mind, but I’ve been going crazy these last few days and all I want to do is take it back. I don’t care about all the reasons I had to make that decision. All I want is to not feel like this anymore and the only way I can do that is by breaking the promise I made to myself. I made the decision because I thought it would make me happy in the long...
I think it’s time to stop working towards a future that will never exist.
I will make you irrelevant to my life.
I’m not stupid. But I guess I’m not that smart either.
Accept your lonliness
You are your only friend
3 tags
"We accept the love we think we deserve."
And don’t I fucking know it.